Beißen Gedanken
Professor Vijay Pithadia PhD https://in.linkedin.com/in/drvijaypithadia
20160717
Waiters asking you if everything is OK all the time
In France, waiters will usually leave you alone even if you don’t want them to – sometimes you will literally have to scream for help for them to notice you.
1
The obsession with icy-cold water.
No matter the season, American restaurants seem set on serving only icy-cold water. My American friends told me that’s because it’s “more refreshing,” but who would want a brain freeze in December??
2
Same thing with the AC.
Why do you guys love the cold so much? And when you go from 90 degrees outside to 20 degrees inside a supermarket in the summer, isn’t it a lil’ bit too much?
3
Tipping.
All this math at the end of a meal is just cruel.
4
The huuuuuuge portions of food at restaurants.
A French family could survive on this pizza for several days.
5
The fact that there are no jugs of water on restaurant tables.
Instead, waiters refill your glass when it’s half-empty. I could really do that myself.
6
Pharmacies where you can also buy beer, cigarettes, soda, and candies.
I’m not criticizing, but it seems like an odd combination.
7
The feeling that the consumer is truly king.
A really refreshing and nice feeling when you come from a country where the consumer is pretty much always in the wrong. Wanna return something you bought in France? It’s probably not gonna happen, and they don’t care if the pants they sold you had a hole at the crotch; you should have looked closer.
8
The size of cars.
9
Humongous bottles of wine.
WINE IS MEANT TO BE SAVORED, NOT CHUGGED.
10
Getting carded when you want to buy beer, even though you’re already past 30.
I couldn’t even tell you what the legal age for drinking is in France and I don’t remember ever getting carded there at any point in my life.
11
Strangers smiling at you all the time.
That’s actually super nice (albeit slightly scary at first, when you’re not used to it).
12
Proms!
A tradition completely foreign to us, except for what we learned from Hollywood movies. Many French teens are actually pretty jealous about that one.
13
People wearing sweatpants outside of the gym, and flip-flops outside of the beach.
Parisians wouldn’t wear flip-flops and sweatpants to take out their trash.
14
People out in the world in their PJs.
There is something endearing and remarkable about really not giving any fucks.
15
Baby showers, bridal showers, engagement parties, rehearsal dinners…
You guys really know how to make use of any excuse to party and get presents. I respect that.
16
Commercials every five minutes on TV.
17
Prices being advertised before tax.
And feeling cheated when you receive the check. (I know this doesn’t happen in every state, but still.)
18
Restaurants and stores being open 24/7.
Good luck finding anything open past 5pm in France on a Sunday.
19
People filling your bags for you at the supermarket.
20
The fact that that “how are you?” often only means “hello” and that the person asking you doesn’t really wanna hear about your current state of mind.
21
People drinking their coffee while walking.
Coffee should be sipped on while sitting at a terrasse.
22
The price of French cheeses at the supermarket.
Cheese should never be this expensive.
23
Being able to pay with your card without entering a code, just by signing a piece of paper.
That doesn’t seem super safe to me.
24
The monstrosity that you call “French bread” at the supermarket.
This bread has nothing French and it pains me to think that anyone could think it has.
25
And finally, wall mount shower heads.
How do you rinse your butt, if you don’t mind me asking?
26
This potato chip can that comes with a device for always keeping the chips at the top.
2
This car that won’t let you listen to music until you’ve buckled your seatbelt.
3
This library that has cake pans you can check out.
4
This sign at a restaurant to let the waiter know you need service.
5
This store that has a winter simulator to help you try on coats.
6
This ATM that lets you choose which bills you want.
7
Ice cubes made out of coffee so that they won’t dilute your iced coffee when they melt.
8
This bar that has a strip of ice to keep your beer cold.
9
This taxi that has a silent alarm flasher to alert the car behind if there’s trouble.
10
A sticker on a mango that lets you know when it’s ripe.
11
A bar that rewards patrons who leave their cars parked there overnight.
12
A package label that lets you know if your package has been turned upside down.
13
These glasses that are designed to let you carry multiple at a time.
14
These bristles on a bathroom stall door that hide the cracks and keep you private.
15
This Dairy Queen that has a special door just for kids.
16
This paper USB tab.
17
This spoon that has a line where its center of gravity is.
18
This Whole Foods that lets you drink beer as you shop.
19
A menu option to buy the kitchen workers a six-pack of beer.
20
This grocery store shelf.
21
This bar that lets you rent a locker to store your phone while it charges.
22
This traffic light that counts down how much longer you have to wait.
23
This car wash that projects what it’s currently doing to your car.
24
A supermarket that gives away free fruit for kids.
25
These stairs that have a slot to make it easier to bring your bike down.
VADIM VYSHINSKI ILLUSTRATOR
26
And this popcorn bucket that comes with a lid you can use to shake butter all over it AND as a bowl.
27
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JUGUETES - SIGLO XIX
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