20121209

Divorce rates higher in love marriages


"According to him, 80 per cent of the "arranged" marriages have a
chance of survival even after a rocking dispute. But in love
marriages, there's very little chance of reconciliation. "

Made in heaven, broken on earth


TNN Jun 3, 2010

PATNA: It is said marriages are made in heaven. But perhaps broken on
earth. At the rate the ancient institution is crumbling, couples are
thinking twice before tying the holy knot. And, interestingly, love
marriages are more at risk than arranged ones. According to records,
50 per cent of love unions crack, while only 30 per cent arranged
marriages end up in divorce courts.

"Even a small issue can result in a break-up these days," said a
lawyer, adding, "most women are working and if they are not treated as
equals by their husbands, there's bound to be resentment and later a
rift. Adultery and extra-marital affairs are other reasons of discord
among couples."

According to a marriage counsellor, lack of faith, trust, suspicion,
impotency and understanding are also taking a toll on marriages. Even
ego clashes, especially if the wife is better placed, creates tension
between couples.

According to Arvind Tiwari, a lawyer in a family court, women are now
not thinking twice before taking up matters to the court. "They know
they can demand alimony (one-third of the husband's property) and then
lead a normal, peaceful life."

In 2009, 1,36,000 marriages were solemnised in Delhi. Out of this
figure, 10,000 ended up in divorce courts!

Many are of the opinion that certain sections of the law in favour of
women, are being misused. For instance, cases registered under sec 498
A IPC dealing with cruelty and torture in a marriage, have become a
tool to harass husbands and their family members.

"The lawyers hardly try to help. They make things worse," felt Ajit
Kumar, a Patna high court lawyer.

But ever since the Domestic Violence Act, 2008, came into vogue, cases
under 498 A have gone down in number.

According to him, 80 per cent of the "arranged" marriages have a
chance of survival even after a rocking dispute. But in love
marriages, there's very little chance of reconciliation. "In a social
set up like ours only 10 per cent go for re-marriages and only 5 per
cent of the cases get settled through mutual consent. The rest of the
cases go for protracted contests, mostly over alimony," said Kumar.

Narrating his traumatic experience, a former scientist of the
Department of Atomic Energy, Deepak (name changed) said, "No one is a
winner after a divorce. The legal advice for both sides further fuels
tension. In my case, my former wife could not handle her ambition and
home. She never joined me in my place of posting for seven long years.
Even after our divorce in 2000, she continued to harass my family in
different ways." He was forced to remarry to overcome the trauma and
feels because of him his son and wife are suffering.

Eminent sociologist Hetukar Jha feels divorce can create psychological
and social problems. "The very word divorcee itself is humiliating and
agonising. The loneliness caused after the break up can be killing,"
he said. According to Jha, the basic problem in today's world is that
everybody talks of rights but no one talks about duties.